A Kick in the Pants...It's a Good Thing

Weariness. Frustration. Anger. Brokenness. Guilt. Sadness. Frustration (did I mention that already?).

These are some of the emotions that I've been struggling with lately. No, this is not going to be a funny little "pick me up" post that will leave you with a smile on your face. But, it is raw honesty. Honest talk about how even a pastor's wife can struggle....and many times give into the struggle. Gasp! Yes, it's true.

Over the last several weeks, I've been encouraging my small group of high school girls to "be real." I've encouraged them to avoid the typical response of "I'm doing good. I'm fine.", that we are all so guilty of (when we're not doing well at all). I want the girls in my small group to have the freedom and security of telling me where they struggle and how they're hurting. I assure them that they will be loved where they're at, as well as encouraged to take the next step forward, with Jesus' help. I guess it's time for me to listen to some of my own advice.

Just yesterday I came upon a new website designed specifically for Moms http://www.heartsathome.org/. There are several resources there that encourage Moms to stay focused on the Lord through the trials and craziness of motherhood. I spent a good hour pouring over all the blog posts and articles, encouraging me as a mother, a wife, and a child of God. It was so refreshing. So today, I visited that site again, not knowing if there would be anything new to check out. There was. The first thing I clicked on had me in tears before I even finished the third paragraph. Do you ever have those moments when it seems God has literally taken you by the hand and lead you face to face with something He specifically wants you to see? This was so one of those moments for me. Instead of trying to explain what it said, I'll just encourage you to head over there and read it for yourself. I can't copy and paste the article itself, but check out the above website and search for the post entitled "Thankful for Family Trials" written by Jim and Lynne Jackson (no relation).

Did you read it? The line that stuck out so boldly to me was "What's concealed gains power, what's revealed can be healed." Oh yes. I have felt the ever loving, swift kick in the pants! I so often beg God to take away the obstacles in my life; to take away the pain. It is especially in my pain and my struggles that He is showing me AGAIN my great need for Him. It is a mirror that I don't really want to look into. When I fail in my relationships, I often see only my faults. It's then that the guilt, shame, and anger start to flood in. Instead, I need to see how I need to be conformed more into His image. It's amazing how that perspective changes things. Instead of being stuck in those awful feelings, I run back into His arms, knowing He loves me completely, and wants me to take the next step in trusting His instruction. Never easy, but so much easier when I know God loves me right here, right now, in all my ugliness (struggles). He accepts me in my "real" moments, and encourages me to take the next step, with my eyes fully focused on Him. It is only in my admission that I need His hand constantly shaping my heart, that there is healing for me. If I just simply move on from my mistakes, without reflection, all that "junk" will just stay inside....and simmer....and is certain to show its ugly head again in the future. Such a good reminder for me.

It is only because of God's incredible love and grace, that we get those "kicks in the pants." So, be encouraged! "What's concealed gains power, what's revealed can be healed." He's faithful friends and family!

Lovin' Black Bananas

I have enjoyed baking for several years now. But only within the last few years, have I become aware of my love of baking with bananas. You know that yellow thing that is said to be a favorite of monkeys??? Well, that's the fruit, but I like 'em nice and brown...black, actually. I don't eat them right out of the peel when they're black, but I do love to add them to whatever batter I'm stirring up. For those of you who don't know, the darker the banana peel, the more banana flavor you'll have in your baked goods. *Side note* If you put a banana in the freezer (peel on) you will achieve the blackest, yet mold-free, yummiest, banana flavor ever!

Anywho, today I wanted to post two of my favorite things to make, using my beloved blackened bananas :) First off, my own creation, Banana Muffins with Chocolate Peanut Butter Chips. I have just recently concocted this recipe, and actually just made them for the first time today. So beware, they are not FDA approved :) The recipe is as follows :

Banana Muffins with Chocolate Peanut Butter Chips

Ingredients:

1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 egg
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup applesauce (I used apple sauce flavored with cinnamon)
1/2 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 to 2 cups mashed ripe bananas
3/4 cup semisweet chocolate peanut butter chips

Directions:

In a large bowl, combine the flour, sugars, baking powder, baking soda and salt. In another bowl, combine the egg, oil, applesauce, milk and vanilla. Stir into dry ingredients just until moistened. Fold in bananas and chocolate peanut butter chips. Fill greased or paper-lined muffin cups three quarters full. Bake at 350 degrees F for 22-25 minutes or until they spring back to the touch. Cool for 5 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks.

Voila! I will warn you that they are very rich, but have a decadent, comforting depth to them. They go great with a cup of coffee or a cold glass of milk. You will definitely need something to wash them down with. Absolute yumminess :) Hope you like them!


One of my other favorite things to bake, using black bananas is a good, moist loaf of banana bread. Deee-lish! I have made several different versions of banana bread, but this one is always my go-to recipe. I can't take any credit for this one. It's found on allrecipes.com. Follow the directions, as listed :

Banana Bread V

Ingredients

2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup white sugar (I use 1/2 cup white and 1/2 cup brown)
1 egg
5 tablespoons milk
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup butter
1 cup mashed bananas (I use at least 2 cups)
1/2 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

*Note* I also add approximately 2 tsp cinnamon, 1 tsp ground cloves, and 1 tsp nutmeg into the flour mixture.

Directions:

1. Sift together flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt (and spices, if using).

2. In a large bowl, cream sugar and butter. Beat the egg slightly, and mix into the creamed mixture with the bananas. Mix in sifted ingredients, just until combined. Stir in milk and nuts. Spread batter into one greased and floured 9x5 inch loaf pan.

3. Bake at 350 degrees until top is brown and cracks along the top. (about 1 hour)

Well, there you have it! Moist, flavorful banana bread that, in my opinion, is the perfect consistency.

I love baking, especially in the Fall season. For me, it's a way to show love to my family. I know that the time and effort I put into my baking is appreciated when I hear the "mmm's" around the table. Baking goodies is just one small way I can show my appreciation and gratitude for them :)

Fall Festivities!

This was a fun weekend for the Jackson clan. I wasn't sure we would even have much of a weekend at all, because I have been sick and I thought one of the girls was on the verge of getting the flu, as well. Fortunately, everyone is relatively healthy as of right now. Sooo, because of that, we made good use of this gorgeous, sunny weekend. It looks like we've got lots of rain headed our way within the next week, so I'm soaking in as much vitamin D as I can :)

Below are a few pictures of our weekend together. We visited a new pumpkin patch (much closer to our house than last year's pumpkin patch) and it was a huge success! Hay mazes, animals, pumpkins galore, big slides, duck races, pumpkin bowling, a corn maze, and a hay ride that took us to a hilltop with an amazing view. We also saw a pumpkin get launched out of a cannon. Incredible! Lots of fun :)

Saturday, we made our way out to the Hoyt Arboretum and enjoyed an hour long walk along the beautiful wooded trails. We really enjoyed the lookout point where we could see Mt. St. Helens, Mt. Ranier, the base of Mt. Adams, and Mt. Hood. A-MAZ-ING!!! Well, we didn't really officially see Mt. Hood, because the trees were in the way, but we see Mt. Hood all the time, so that wasn't quite as big of a deal ;)

There are a few pictures below of Gracie and Emily together. I took them before they headed off to school. It was picture day and I thought I'd have them practice their "picture taking skills" before they left :) Sometimes those two just melt my heart!

I hope to make a pumpkin pie from scratch this week, since, as I said in the previous post, that is one of my favorite fall traditions! I'll have to let you know if it turns out... Also, next weekend we'll be carving the Jackson family pumpkin and roasting up some delicious seeds. Pictures will follow, I'm sure.

Happy Autumn!!!

Autumn Wishes

It's been a long time, a very long time, since I have been an active member in the blogging community. I have decided it's about time for me to re-engage. My time of absence is over! There is no possible way to sum up what's been happening since July (I can't believe it's been that long!), so I will pick up where we are in the present.

It is the Fall season. I love Autumn. Love it. It has always been my favorite time of year. I assume it has something to do with Thanksgiving and the fact that I love to cook and love to eat what has been cooked. Pure and simple...I like food. Okay, that's another post :) As I think about this very special season, there are things that I look forward to experiencing within the next 2 months; the sights, smells, and tastes that are unique to this time of year. This is my wish list and things I look forward to during this Fall season:

• Making delicious fall treats (pumpkin pie, pumpkin muffins, hot spiced cider, chili)
• The cool, crisp air
• The smell of burning leaves (my second most favorite smell EVER)
• Visiting the pumpkin farm with my family (and sampling the hot cider and donuts!)
• Watching the girls pick out their pumpkins
• Taking a walk with the family through the woods and seeing the vibrant, awesome colors
• Celebrating Hannah's 8th birthday
• The annual Harvest Party at our church
• Thanksgiving
• Wearing a cozy sweater and jeans
• The anticipation of Christmas
• Cuddling in front of the fireplace on a cool night

I'm hoping this Autumn doesn't pass as quickly as they usually do. It seems like I blink and it's over. I want to take in every last drop before it's gone! Ultimately this time of year is a reminder that once again points to my Creator. Every time I see Mt. Hood (which is covered in snow again!) I see God's awesomeness. Every time I see the bright orange and red leaves, I am reminded of God's creativity. My heart rejoices in thanksgiving as I spend time with my family, whether picking out the family pumpkin, or walking through the woods together, the leaves crunching under our feet. And as gorgeous as I think my surroundings are now, I cannot even fully imagine what it will be like in heaven someday; beautiful and perfect in every way. Absolute paradise...beyond my imagination! But I certainly see glimpses of His handiwork now, and for that I am thankful.

Speaking of Fall favorites, I have Chicken 'n Dumplings in the slow cooker right now, and the clock is telling me that it's ready! I hope to be back soon, hopefully with pictures of our trip to the pumpkin farm. Enjoy this gorgeous season and all it has to offer!

Let Me Bring You Up To Speed Here...

Okay, so it's July 7th..... JULY!!! How in the world did that happen? I cannot believe how quickly the summer is flying by. Things always seem to be somewhat crazy in the Jackson household (controlled chaos), but I'm tellin' ya, it's been busy!!

So what have we been up to? Let's see... graduation parties, weddings, play dates, birthday parties, meetings, trips to the park, happy hour at Sonic (Yay!), hiking, picnicking, vacation Bible school, and generally trying to keep the kids from saying "Mom, there's nothing to do. I'm bored!" So, that's pretty much it in a nutshell. I've decided to stick all these summer memories in a slide show, and share that way.

We'll be camping on the coast in a couple weeks and hopefully I'll have some good stories (and pics) to share from that.

Oh...ya know what? This is totally random and way off topic, but if I don't blog about it now, I never will. A couple weeks ago Lyndsey (age 9) and Gracie (age 5) were playing around and pretending to jab each other, as would a boxer. They were being gentle with each other, of course, and Gracie threw a jab and hit Lynds on the left side of her chest, right around her heart. It didn't really hurt, and Lyndsey didn't complain, but Gracie exclaimed "Oh, I'm sorry, I woke him up!" Lyndsey said "What? Woke who up?" Grace responded "Jesus. He's in your heart and I think I woke him up!" Crack me up!!! These are the things I want to remember, and share with them when they're older, but sure I'll forget. It was so sweet :)

Okay, story number 2, which is just as off topic as the last story. The other day Adam was getting ready in the bathroom and Emily walked up to him and gave him a good jab in the gut. (Our girls really aren't that violent, but it sure sounds that way!) She didn't say anything, but just kept staring at Adam. Adam then said to her, "What was that?" Emily's response: "A piece of me!" Crack me up again! Emily and Grace often go around saying "You want a piece of me? I'll give you a piece of me!" Oh man, they make me laugh :)

Okay, now that I have shared all of that, I am ready to share our pictures which pretty much summed up our month of June and the beginning of July. Enjoy your summer, friends :)

It's All Good

The last week or so has been a reminder of how much I have to be thankful for. Not everything has been perfect; it's not as if life is just cruising along without any problems or cares. There are things that keep me prayerfully seeking the Lord's direction. Life is still a matter of daily surrendering to His desires, which are slowly becoming my desires. It's still a struggle. But, lately I have had an overflow of God's goodness. There's never a time where His goodness is less or more, but maybe I am just more aware of it lately.

I think I'll use pictures to illustrate the things that have made my heart sing within the past week.

Having fun with my amazing family

Having fun with amazing friends

Green toe socks make me laugh

Making new friends and enjoying lots of laughter

Shopping and getting fantastic bargains

Enjoying a beautiful sunset over the Pacific Ocean

Knowing I was missed while away from home

Savoring coffee from the coffee shop down the street. Yum!

Learning and being challenged by reading an incredible book. I highly recommend it!

Planting PINK azalea bushes

My life is full of God's unending grace, love, and joy! I am so thankful for the times when I am "extra" aware of His greatness. Whether I am crawling through the dessert, or basking in the sun and blue skies, my God is good all the time. All the time my God is good. It's all good, my friends :)

Does A Mama's Heart Good!

Mother's Day has come and gone again for 2009. Every year it's a day of remembrance for me. I take time throughout my day to remember becoming a mom to my 4 precious girls. I remember the day each one was born and then recall how each girl has grown so much since then. I ponder on how they've filled my life so completely.

When I was very little (maybe 4 or 5) I knew then that I wanted to be a wife and mom. It's ALL I really wanted for my future. I recall my high school banquet at my church the year I graduated. We were to tell everyone what our plans were for college/work and what our life goals were. Even then, my only desire was to be a wife and mom. I'm sure it sounded silly, but it truly was one of my biggest dreams. I remember after announcing that as my "goal," someone saying to me "Ok, but besides that, what do you want to do??" Well, I only knew who I wanted to be. I wanted to be my husband's best friend and helper. I wanted to be the mom who spent time talking with her kids and teaching them things. I wanted to be the one to nurse them through sickness (Boy, have I been able to do that this year!!!), comfort them when they had a bad dream, and assuming I had a girl (try 4 girls!) I wanted to paint toenails, go shopping for earrings, and sing and dance together. I wanted to teach them about Jesus and His immense love for them. IT'S ALL I EVER WANTED!! :)

Needless to say, God blessed me beyond measure and gave me a husband who keeps loving my-imperfect-self, and 4 beautiful daughters who melt my heart on many occasions. Speaking of melting my heart, I had something from our second daughter, Hannah, that I wanted to share.

The week before Mother's Day was my birthday. I was spoiled rotten by my family and loved every minute of it :) When I was ready for church, I came downstairs to find cards and gifts awaiting me. Sweet! Hannah's card was especially touching. You might not be able to make out the pictures very well, but I'll write what she had written, spelling as is.

This is the front page...I think it's legible.

Why do I like Mommy? Because she is sweet. She is nice. She cooks delicious food.

She buys me toys. She cares for me and the hole family. She helps me when I am sikc.

She helps me with my homework. She buys food for the family. She gave me a room. She loves me.

She goes out to the store with me. She does lots and lots of work. She is a Qreen. And that is why I like mommy.

In this book Hannah is telling about why she likes mommy.

And that right there makes me so incredibly thankful to be Hannah's mom! And Lyndsey' mom. And Gracie's mom. And Emily's mom. I have been blessed :)