Butterflies

Yep, that's what I'm feeling in my stomach right now...butterflies. This morning I kissed and hugged Hannah and Lyndsey before their dad dropped them off at school. I will not see either of them until 2:20 this afternoon. I must say I'm not quite as nervous about Lyndsey going back to school; she's a pro at this school thing now. As a matter of fact, when her dad took her into school this morning, she actually wanted to go upstairs on her own to find her classroom. I'm glad it was Adam there and not me, 'cause that would've killed me! But anyway, my stomach is a mess because of me thinking of my Hannah Boo.

This is her first all day school experience. Last year she went to Kindergarten at our church (just the afternoon, 4 days a week) so I didn't have that little bit of worry in my head. I figured if she needed anything, daddy was just upstairs in his office. It was almost like we really weren't leaving her yet. But now, well, her mom is a few miles away and dad is no longer a few steps away. Eeeekk! Now, I should say that Hannah was very excited for her first day as a first grader; she was all smiles when she left :) This is definitely my issue, not hers.

So I got to thinking...although Hannah does not have her mom and dad close by, she's got someone who can help her much more than I can. Although Hannah is the one in class today, I do believe it is I who is learning a big lesson. Is this yet another opportunity for me to trust God? Definitely.

Because my husband is a pastor, I have often been asked why we don't send our kids to Christian school or why we don't homeschool. I personally don't have issues with either one of those options (really), but as of yet we feel that public school is where God wants our kids right now. Adam and I have always believed that it starts at home. What does that mean? We don't think that "church on Sunday" is enough to help our kids grow to know Jesus. Does it influence them positively? Absolutely, but that's not enough. Do they see their mom and dad pray? Do they see us reading the Bible? Do we use every opportunity to point them to God? Do they see that I have a relationship with Jesus, not just knowledge of Him? I realize I can't honestly say yes to these all the time, but even that is a lesson of God's grace and unconditional love in my life. Now, after saying all of that, I also need to say that I don't want my kids to read their Bible just because that's what dad does. I don't want them to pray just because they see mom on her knees. I want them to know Jesus on a very personal level because they realize their need of Him, not because that's what they're supposed to do.

Because of what's been taught at home, modeled at home, they will take that to school, to the mall, to their friend's house. They will learn that God has more (much more) to offer than anything that's being offered in the world. As they grow to know their Lord more, they will experience that for themselves. It is my job as a mother to encourage my daughters to trust God, to receive His love, and love Him in return. I can only share with them day in and day out, that choosing to honor my God with my words and actions is what brings true joy and peace.

So, after all that, what am I so nervous about? They know that Jesus went with them to school today. They know they can talk to Him at any time, and that He wants to be the One they turn to for direction and comfort. As I have been reminded by my husband many times, Lyndsey and Hannah don't serve a mini-God, they don't have a mini-Holy Spirit dwelling within them. They know the Alpha and Omega, the one true God, just as I do. That thought alone takes away all my worries!

I will be praying for my girls today, that they would rely on God for strength, patience, and comfort. That He would be the one they thank when they meet a nice friend on the playground. He is all they need. He is all I need. I guess I'm ready for the school year now!